Candy Paull

The gloom of the world is but a shadow;
behind it, yet within our reach, is joy.
Take joy.
Fra Giovanni

Lens

I should have brought my camera…
I saw a flash of yellow
dancing on a mound of pink
Perfect light
backlit the lovely wings
the butterfly
sipped the nectar
from a purple-pink thistle
and I
sipped the nectar
of the moment
A meditation
on light
color
movement
and ephemeral ecstasy
No camera to capture
the moment
only my eyes
seeing through the lens
of timeless awareness

(poem written September 17, 2010)

I went back into my archives and found this bit of wisdom. I always say that I have “good shopping karma” because I have always been able to find bargains and manifest just what I wanted or needed. I’m doing less shopping now because I’m working on applying my “good shopping karma” skills to creating a more sustainable life and career. Maybe some of these tips will inspire "good shopping karma" for you, too.

Here are some of my “good shopping karma” rules:
• Get to know the lay of the land. Cruise the entire store, not just one department, and perhaps other stores in the mall and big box stores.
• Educate yourself so you’ll know a good value when you see one. Remember that experience is education, too.
• Then watch the prices, look at the merchandise, keep an eye on what moves and what doesn’t move.
• Have an idea of what you want, but also be open to surprises and different options.
• Remember that the big box stores brag about their bargains, but often the full price department stores have better markdowns and take better care of their merchandise.
• Full price stores have better bathrooms, too—and details like that count! Shopping in a classier atmosphere is easier on the nerves, so you can concentrate on finding a quality product instead of sifting through inferior leftovers. Comfort and atmosphere are really important. You can’t think straight when you need to go to the bathroom.
• If you do go “junking” (Goodwill, cut rate stores, etc.) be mentally prepared for it. It takes a different mentality to sift through castoffs than to buy new. Bargain basements can be great—but like big box stores, highly overrated.
• You save more by buying one first class item that suits you perfectly than buying several second class items just because they’re “cheap.” Cheap is usually not a bargain—unless you are an experienced shopper with good instincts. Look for value.
• Bide your time and don’t be misled by early sales prices.
• Hold off till the right deal comes, and the right outfit appears on your radar.
• Don’t buy something you plan to diet into—it will hang in your closet forever.
• If you feel tired or anxious or indifferent, don’t buy, because you’ll regret it. Go home and take a nap.
• When the right price and product and timing come together, grab it. You’ll feel a rush of positive energy, the clothes will look good to you even in the fitting room mirror (where clothes always seem to look the worst). And it will feel right, as if you’re in the flow.
• When the flow is happening, ride the wave and shop. When good shopping karma kicks in, enjoy it while it lasts. When it’s not happening or the energy lets down, go do something else. The wave has washed onto the beach, and the window of opportunity is gone. Another wave will come again when the weather is right.
• Approach all shopping as a game, not a chore. If you’re playing a game, it’s okay to take risks and make mistakes and play. If it’s a chore, all you want to do is get it over with. Which means you’ll be too tired and cranky, so you’ll settle for something just to get the job done and get out of the store.
• Remember that even the big stuff is really small stuff in the cosmic scheme of things. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “There is no great or small to the One who knoweth all.”
• When in doubt, ask for guidance and listen to your intuition.
• If you can’t get the deal you want, be willing to walk away. There will always be another day to shop.

Finally, whether it is shopping in stores or shopping for information on the Internet, know when it is time to stop shopping and to start working on your dreams. Shopping (or surfing the Net) can be a distraction. Walk out of the store, turn your computer off, and go take one baby step toward the fulfillment of your dreams. Be proactive on your own behalf and create something that someone else will want to buy or enjoy.

Publishing resources:

I have found some new resources for those of you who are writers and considering e-book self-publishing.

The Book Doula
http://www.bookdoula.biz/
A doula (pronounced doo-luh) is an experienced professional who offers ongoing practical and emotional support to someone before, during, and after a birth. Dr. Liz Alexander offers her clients the same exemplary service as they conceive, grow, and birth their brainchild—a GOOD nonfiction book they can use to showcase their subject-matter expertise, boost business revenues, and future-proof their careers. She has a great blog and website that offers great insights on creating the book of your dreams.
She says, “Don’t write the book for where you are. Write the book for where you want to be.”

The Book Designer
http://www.thebookdesigner.com/
A great website and blog that offers help for publishers and authors who want to publish their own books and get to market with a great looking, properly constructed book, on time and on budget. The blog is written by Joel Friedlander, proprietor of Marin Bookworks in San Rafael, California. I check his blog on a regular basis.

Write It Forward
http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/
Bob Mayer is a NY Times Best-Selling multi-published author. This blog offers insight from a pro author who is now entering the e-book self-publishing world. Great entries that offer insight on the changes and challenges the publishing industry is going through right now.

Publishing Perspectives
http://publishingperspectives.com/
A great site for emerging trends in the book industry, especially the cutting edge changes and the e-book industry.

Additional blogs I check daily include:

http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/
The “poster boy” for indie and e-book publishing

http://www.idealog.com/blog/
Mike Shatzkin’s take on the book industry and e-books from a cutting edge industry viewpoint.

One can study a caterpillar forever and never be able to predict a butterfly.
Buckminster Fuller

Are you living the life that wants to live through you?
Parker Palmer

It is cicada time here in Middle Tennessee. First cicadas sighted in my yard on May 9. Little creepy crawlies and empty shells. Weirdness. Last time the cicadas were at a minimum when I lived in another part of town that did not have as many of these little critters. Now I'm in the cicada part of town.

The 13-year cicadas began emerging over a week ago, but five days of cooler weather left the little creatures hanging onto branches and plant stems, just waiting for warmer weather to return. Now a warm front is moving in, and the trees are alive with the sound of cicadas mating (the male "sings" to his lady love).

I like to imagine how it feels for the cicadas to emerge from thirteen years in the dark earth and to be born again into a new world of wings, wind, sun, eyes, and song (and sex!). What would it feel like to enter into a life so different than anything that could be imagined in the old life? While cicadas, with their little red eyes and buggy bodies may not have the elegance of the butterfly, they are still expressions of the Life Force and metamorphosis. I enjoy them as sign of abundance and nature's strange and wonderful generosities. What strange and wonderful metamorphosis have you been going through lately? Can you sense the new life that wants to unfold for you today?

Late May

Cicadas seem dizzy drunk with the heat and the love. Windshield splatters on the freeway. Cicadas! Cicadas! I took a photo of two cicadas mating, back to back, wings spread over each other.

They’re quiet at night, when it’s stormy and wet, or when it gets too cool for their comfort. Early in the morning the cicada whirring hum begins. It sounds like the aliens are landing as all the trees start coming alive with sound. Later in the day, the full chorus surrounds the house, and like a giant cicada peppergrinder, the sound becomes deafening.

Yet I find something wonderful in this expression of the Life Force. Happy cicadas mating and flying about, dizzy with love and life. Little eyes boggling at everything, especially a human being coming onto the horizon.

Bug-eyed with wonder, they don’t attack, they don’t run. The little cicada sits on the petunia plant, just being, just living. Alive in so many ways. I coo, “Cicada, cicada” as I point my camera and take a cicada portrait. Immortalized in digital media, now the little cicada decides it’s time to join its brethren. Wings whirr and the cicada lifts swiftly into the air. Cicadas! Cicadas!

End of May

Lots of little dead cicadas in my driveway, on my steps. (not to mention the splats! on my windshield). Guess they partied their brains out. They came into this world with that "OMG" look and seem to be leaving with the same. The party to end all parties, drunk with life itself. An orgy, not a potluck. What a long strange journey it's been. Thirteen years in the ground as a sap sucking grub. Then the nymphs seek the light, emerging from the dark underground world. Metamorphosis! Suddenly bingo bango: eyes, legs, wings, sun, wind, rain, storms, SEX! Mindblowing cicada sex leaves them reeling on the pavement, wondering what hit them.

Then a strange urge to dig a hole in some twig on a tree and lay eggs. Party's over. Drop dead with pleasure. Sated. And eventually little white grubs emerge and drop to the ground, going into the earth to spend the next thirteen years in solitary confinement sucking sap, waiting for the next party to begin.

I learned that the male cicadas will chirp (one got in my car). Someone told me that each cicada has its own unique chirp. Some are low, some are high. So what we're hearing is a cicada men's chorus in perfect harmony. I'm getting rather fond of these little critters (as long as they keep good boundaries) and feel as if there is something sacred and healing in the songs they sing. I like the spaceship landing sound they make early in the morning as they are tuning up. Somehow the sound from the distant trees blend so that you could close your eyes and imagine an alien spaceship landing. It is the Life Force expressing.

I love thinking about "Where were you 13 years ago?" 1998 was the year The Art of Abundance was published by Honor Books. I didn't even start coming to Center for Spiritual Living Nashville till 2003. Daddy and Marcia were still alive thirteen years ago. I was just starting to be weaned from depending too much on a dear friend. I recorded my 5 song Golden Moment demo. It was my best financial year ever--never been topped during the rollercoaster ride of the last decade. Music Row was still intact, not knowing that it would all implode soon. What a long strange journey it has been.

My mantra for the cicadas: "Cicadas! Cicadas! Crazy cicadas!"

Early June

Now the cicadas are getting quieter and quieter. Last week’s frenzy has mellowed. They are no longer flying into my face or zooming over the roof. I sat under a cicada-filled tree and saw that many were just sitting on the branches. There was a slightly fishy smell, so I moved away from them. I almost felt they were like party animals recovering from a hangover.

Cicada conversations overheard the other day: “The party’s over…” “Not now dear, I have a headache.” “ She just isn’t interested in sex any more, Harry. Always complaining about what I did to her!” “He still wants sex and all I want to do is dig a hole and lay my eggs. It’s hard to be in the mood when you’re hormonal and pregnant.”

End of June:

The last of the cicadas are gone. Branch ends litter the lawn, a sign that the eggs have hatched and the larvae are making their way back into the earth for another 13-year cycle. I miss the sound of that life force humming. As temperatures rise the usual summer cicadas will begin singing their love songs in the heat of late July and August. It will be a different song, beautiful in its own way.

I wonder where I will be when the next cohort of cicadas emerge thirteen years from now?

The ordinary is the extraordinary
Gustav Flaubert

Simple sensory rituals bring comfort and grounding to daily living. They nourish the soul. To observe the ordinary and become mindful of the sacredness of life itself, whether handling daily chores or taking time out for small innocent pleasures, is a statement of profound spiritual power. You wed Heaven and Earth as you focus on the beauty and meaning of even the most mundane task.

There are many routine activities where I can focus on mindful awareness and a sense of the sacred. Some are simple chores like dishes, laundry, cleaning, and preparing food where I can consciously practice the Presence of God. Others, like emails, writing, financials, and things that take focus and concentration, just have to be made sacred by setting an intention and then doing the work. I don’t make a big deal of rituals for most of these things, though I do love to make time for some kind of ritual in my life.

One of the tasks that can feel like a cleansing ritual is doing the laundry. From dumping the soiled clothing into the washer, and adding soap and warm water, the alchemy of cleansing begins as the soil, stains, and dirt are released and washed away. Drying the clothing is an act of returning to form as the twisted wet cloth relaxes and releases back to a soft and original shape. Then the ceremony of returning the garments to their proper places in closet and drawer makes the clothing accessible, returning them to beauty and usefulness once again.

Bring the muse into the kitchen.
Walt Whitman

The very commonplaces of life are components of its eternal mystery.
Gertrude Atherton

You are to gather up the joys and sorrows, the struggles, the beauty, love, dreams, and hopes of every hour that they may be consecrated at the altar of daily life.
Macrina Wiederkehr

Some other sensory rituals that lead me to a sense of safety and expansion:

• Cleaning the planters on the first warm day after a long cold winter (or planting, or trimming back, or digging my fingers in good brown dirt).
• A bouquet of roses—and when the timing is right, sunlight and a digital camera to photograph their glorious beauty
• Writing poetry or a song lyric
• Beeswax candles lighting the room and scenting it with honey sweetness
• Essential oils of desert sage, pinon pine, and spruce releasing a high desert fragrance in my home
• Early bed for much needed rest
• Meditation, especially helpful when I’m feeling overwhelmed
• Bells, chimes, rattles, drums
• Colored pens or pencils, a notebook/ crayons and a coloring book
• Singing, especially singing my own songs
• A cup of hot jasmine oolong tea in my hands as watch a sunset

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hahn offers many ideas for ways to be mindful and aware in his books and writings. Here is one suggestion:

Prepare a pot of tea to sit and drink in mindfulness. Allow yourself a good length of time to do this. Don’t drink your tea like someone who gulps down a cup of coffee during a workbreak. Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the whole earth revolves—slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life.
Thich Nhat Hahn, The Miracle of Mindfulness

God’s call is mysterious;
it comes in the darkness of faith.
It is so fine, so subtle,
that it is only with the deepest silence within us
that we can hear it.
Carlo Caretto

Listening can be understood as seeking guidance from a higher level of consciousness and understanding. By entering into a stillness that is holy—that contains wholeness—silence brings us into our own wholeness. We remember—and re-member—pulling together that which has been lost in the fragmentation and distraction of daily living.

In this silence, from this stillpoint, is the only place where true choice can be made. Because we become quiet, we learn to hear the I AM at the heart of creation, and in our own hearts, so that we can choose from the center of our being instead of the periphery of outward circumstance. Then each choice is made with clear intention. We are inspired from within instead of reacting from what is happening without. Though outer circumstances change, this deep listening keeps us centered in a larger spiritual reality.

As we grow into our ability to experience inner and outer silence, our interior lives become richer. We discover that the silence and the void we feared is actually a living presence. The “still small voice” is now the insistent pulse of the Life Force making itself known in us.

If you have ever been in a place of awesome beauty—the ocean, a mountain top, a cascading waterfall, the edge of the Grand Canyon—you have tasted this presence. Silence like a great cathedral allows you to enter the mystery and beauty of your own inner presence.

• Exercise: Take an extended walk in wild places. Let nature nurture you and savor a silence full of living creatures, wind and weather, and all the sounds that speak to the soul in a way that human-made sounds cannot.

Quotes:
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Henry David Thoreau

A mystic is not a mysterious person, but is one who has a deep, inner sense of Life and of his unity with the Whole.
Ernest Holmes

The source of all abundance is not outside you. It is part of who you are. …The fullness of life is there at every step. The acknowledgement of that abundance that is all around you awakens the dormant abundance within. Then let it flow out.
Eckhart Tolle

The crust of the everyday must be broken through.
Eugene Delacroix

If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.
Tao Te Ching

Let us remain as empty as possible so that God can fill us up.
Mother Teresa

Prayer can be understood as the gathering of attention. The inner effort, which is the work of gathering and recollection, leads to peace within. When this peace has gathered sufficient strength it can face the world in a new way.
Kabir Edmund Helminski

The greatest security we can have, in the face of antagonism and the inner and outer complexities of life, is to be consciously connected with the unchanging sense of self at the core of our being.
John Maxwell Taylor

The boasted strength of the personal self is really its weakness; true strength lies in that which dwells behind the personal self. We may draw on the infinite, if we will, and thus achieve the seemingly impossible.
Paul Brunton

…that serene and blessed mood,
In which the affections gently lead us on—
Until the breath of this corporeal frame
And even the motion of our human blood
Almost suspended, we are laid asleep
In body, and become a living soul;
While with an eye made quiet by the power
Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,
We see into the life of things.
William Wordsworth

One instant is eternity,
eternity is the now.
When you see through this one instant,
you see through the one who sees.
Wu-Men

Your endeavor, then, is not so much to find God as it is to realize His presence and to understand that this presence is always with you.
Ernest Holmes

The secret of meditation is silence: no repetitions, no affirmations, no denials—just the acknowledgement of God’s allness, and then the deep, deep silence which announces God’s Presence.
Joel Goldsmith

To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.
Lao Tzu

Silence enriches and changes us. Learning to be in silence on a regular basis brings a greater flow and ease to life. We access body wisdom as well as inner wisdom. We find rest, refreshment, and an expanded awareness that is more sensitive to life. We discover a new playfulness and childlike receptivity. We become more at home in the universe and in our own bodies.

The time spent in silence spreads its influence beyond our practice of silence and stillness. The moments of silence radiate out into our days, gradually transforming our experiences of life. Drawing on the deep wisdom of the timeless and eternal, we discover that our daily round of errands, laundry, meetings, work, relationships, and social obligations begin to partake of the attributes of timelessness, peace, and even eternal bliss. The living listening presence that is at the core of who we really are as human beings becomes the center around which all the rest of life orbits.

• Exercise: Share silence intentionally with others. Setting aside silent time as a group is a powerful way to be together. Be silent with others consciously, setting aside an agreed upon time and place to be in quiet together. Enjoy a discussion afterward about how it felt and what you learned. Or leave in silence, connected to the energy of the group without needing words.

Healing Beauty

Let beauty
be its own
healing magic.
Do not play small.
Do not stunt your own growth.
Blossom.
Be fruitful.
Fulfill your own destiny.
This is not a race
or a battle.
This is a garden
and each must grow,
flower,
and produce fruit
in its own way
and its own time.
Let beauty
blossom
in you.

The human mind and heart are a mystery...
Psalm 64:7

Earth with her thousand voices praises God.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

You have crowned the year with your bounty,
and your paths overflow with plenty.
Psalm 65:10

Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberries knows nothing about grapes.
Paracelsus

The art just wants to be made
It pushes through the vehicle
(the person) into manifest form.
Vicki Noble

Art is the increasing effort to compete with the beauty of flowers—and never succeeding.
Marc Chagall

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.
Buddha

The amen of nature is always a flower.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

It has been said, “prayer is the fullness of attention.” When we’re completely paying attention, when we’re completely present in a moment, completely listening at all levels, we’re praying.
—Cynthia Bourgeault

When we enter silence, we leave behind the conventional thinking of society and our habitual selves. “Peace, be still,” Jesus said to the stormy sea of Galilee, and the seas calmed to glassy stillness. So we also learn to calm the storm of our emotions and thoughts to enter a still place—no judgments, no opinions, no old scripts and self-defeating stories, no more limited thinking. No longer busy being busy and important, we allow the noise of the old life to subside as we enter the innocence of just “being.” We truly become human beings instead of humans doing.

Entering physical silence enables us to learn to enter a spiritual silence where fear, prejudices, rigidity, resistance, projections, and stress are all released. Openness and allowing are the hallmarks of the one who has learned to enter into a silent way of being.

• Exercise: Listen to a quiet piece of music, allowing it to carry you into a place of stillness. Then spend a few minutes in silence when the music is finished. Write about your experiences in a journal.

Exactly one year ago today I published The Heart of Abundance, my free best-of e-book. Since then several thousand people have downloaded it, and the e-book market has grown exponentially. Now I'm beginning to make money with my e-books as new markets evolve. It's still early days, but there are many exciting developments happening. I published The Heart of Abundance with little expectation of monetary reward. It wasn't until the second half of 2010 that I saw my first e-book royalty, $34.53. My royalties have grown each quarter since.

When I published The Heart of Abundance a year ago, I thought it was career suicide. I just decided that if publishers didn't want what I had to offer, I could still offer my gift to the world. This was pre-iPad, before the Nook took off and before I knew about many of the e-book role models who have helped me see the incredible potential this new paradigm holds for independent authors. It was an act of faith and love, giving what I had to give. I could never have imagined that it would grow into this new world of opportunity.

I'm still a long way from being able to live off e-book money, but some money is coming in now, and the long term future is bright, in spite of short term struggles. I discovered e-books by following my intuition and being willing to try new things. I found Smashwords when it was barely a year old and I'm so grateful for visionaries like Mark Coker who saw what the rest of us could not yet see. I'm excited about my digital future in writing my e-books and creating wonderful new products with my art and music.

I have added some great links on my Helpful Information page for those who want to know more about all things self-publishing and e-book. I include links to favorite bloggers like J.A. Konrath, Mark Coker at Smashwords, and Mike Schatzkin, plus links to two succinct articles that offer an overview of current players. There is so much information out there, but I have found these people to be the most helpful in my own researches. Follow the links, and one thing will lead to another.

These are unusual times with challenges we have never faced before. I'm reinventing myself, and I know many of you are, too. I know you will find the answers you seek if you follow your heart. I pray that some of my words, and the quotes I share, may help you connect to your own inner strength and to the possibilities that God has for you.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.
Sir Winston Churchill

The job crisis is a symptom of something much deeper; a crisis in our relationship to work and the challenge put to our species to reinvent it.
Matthew Fox

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.
Vicktor Frankl

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
Carlos Castenada

Do one thing a day that scares you.
Eleanor Roosevelt

We awaken from the dream that we are weak, and accept that the power of the universe is within us.
Marianne Williamson

Just remaining quietly in the presence of God, listening to Him, being attentive to Him, requires a lot of courage and know-how.
Thomas Merton

Sometimes we fear silence. Mesmerized by our own noise, inner and outer, we stay remote and try to convince ourselves that we are in control as we flip from channel to channel, surfing through variations of the same theme: I am not enough. I must have all this stuff to validate my existence and prove my importance. I must fill my ears with others’ opinions and the noise of media madness, otherwise I will be out of touch—and therefore I will not really exist. Whether it is the misery of the inner monologues of self-defeat and victimhood or the toxic streams of criticism, anger, fear, gossip, and the belief that we are dependent on outer circumstances, we stay frozen in place, in a trance. We turn up the volume and lull ourselves to sleep, forgetting who we are and why we are here.

We enter the silence only to find that the silence is also entering us. Make no mistake, choosing silence means a life change—a death of the old, a birth of the new. It is a death to our old definitions of self and the defenses we used to protect our old beliefs. It is a birth into a new self that is open, receptive, and believes that anything is possible, for our potential arises from the vastness within. We are able to hear something new, think more expansively, and become a place where greater consciousness develops.

• Exercise: Do nothing for five minutes. Don’t get up and adjust anything. Don’t write ideas down. Just sit and be present, right here, right now, for five minutes. This sounds simple, but it is harder than you think. The temptation to get up to do something or be distracted is very powerful. It helps to keep a pencil and paper handy so you can take notes to be acted upon later. I find this a great exercise when I want to update my list of things to do—I remember in the silence what was forgotten in the rush of daily living.

Affirmative Prayer
Today I wait in God's Presence, listening for wisdom from within. Today I visualize light, love, and healing for those in my life who are experiencing difficulties, and for those who are on the other side of the world who are facing challenges and tragedies. I know that the very nature of God is expressed in each person. The nature of God is love, courage, kindness, and joy. Where there is unrest, I speak peace. Where there is joy, I offer gratitude. And where there is faith, I know that love and light are there in response.

I am also offering a special prayer for Christchurch, New Zealand, Japan, the coasts affected by tsunamis, and all who have been touched by the recent earthquakes.